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~cryingpain

I like watching the clouds...
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So I'm Back

Mon May 4, 2009, 8:18 PM
  • Mood: Hungry
  • Playing: Waiting to play Combat Arms
Yes ppl I'm back from my holiday overseas in Sweden with my sis and my mom.
It did not turn out how I wanted it too. My sis and mom got a cold the first week or second week cant remember which so that sucked. Plus we didn't know till just when we got to my grandparents place that my grandpa was sick for a while and he hadn't gone to the doc, so we ended up just jumping back and forth from cousins place to grandparents place.
Anyways turns out he had a stroke so yeh he was in the hospital up until we had to leave.

Anyways I didn't want to just be staying at relatives places because where they live we've done everything there last time we were over and so I wanted to stay in the city or other places. But alsa my dads a cheap cheap ass bastard so didn't happen. Which means holidays = super boredom for me.

I don't get along much with my younger sister and this holiday reminded me alot of that. As she is very similar to my dad who by now you guys know I can not get along with or even be in the same room with if his talking away about something.

Hilight of the trip was staying at a skii resort for 5 days and doing some skiing there and went on a dog slede.

Getting sick with a stumach bug 1 and half weeks before my flight back sucked so spent the most of that time in the toliet! Fucking lame.

Second plane I was on I felt sick really bad stomuch craps so that just ruled out any sleep and 3rd and last flight I couldnt sleep and I'm still up, atm my mom and sis are sleeping. And they both slept on the flights I didn't get to sleep on.

Guess I'm just gonna wait till its bed time, only say 8-9hrs i got to stay awake for.

Anyways enough of my ramblings about everything. lol I don't want to go back to work at Coles I hate it wit such hate! lol.

Btw 589 Deviations, 339 Messages, 1 Note

Eh laters all!

Hey hey omg 5 days!

Sun Mar 22, 2009, 6:40 AM
  • Mood: Questionable
  • Watching: Ghost in a shell (movie)
Yeap 5 days till I leave to go oversea to Sweden for a month. I leave on the 28th March and return the 5th of May. I, my sister and mom are going. Dad and brother are staying home lol.

It should be great, planned different things to do, going to see my cousins and grandparents. Hoping to get alot of photos and have a great time. Buy some gifts there for few friends. Yeps....

As promised I finally uploaded the artwork I did during TAFE, well not all of them since some I don't like and wont be shown.

Hope everyone is well and will update this when I'm back!

So its been a long time

Journal Entry: Sat Jan 10, 2009, 5:04 AM
  • Mood: Euphoric
  • Listening to: Flying High (Speed) - DJ Spash
Hi, long long time no update or anything really.
I guess i've been busy sort of living my life, I finished my tafe course digital media cert 4 :D go me and passed everything.

Umm been working at Coles lol still suck, and my manager is just as crap n creepy as always.

I had a rather good new years as I wasnt home :D home still kinda sucks tho things seem abit better.

So family lifes goes better, dad went from real bad to shit (i need to change...) and his gotten abit better with how he treats us.

Relationship wise I'm single now, kinda have been for about 2-3months now. I feel lonely I miss being able to share my love with someone I love.. anywaysssssssssss.

Ah will eventually put up some work I have done for my course... eventually lol.

I've started watching toooooo many ppl I think my inbox always full of deviations, I remember back in the day I used to be able to look at everything and even add a nice comment to everything, nowdays I really can't be bothered unless they are a friend or w.e.


You know what I think in the next few days or soo or when I get to doing it make a new CS for my journal =P something new for the new year!


OKays was nice updating, Cyaz!

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Been a long time...

Journal Entry: Mon Aug 11, 2008, 10:41 PM
  • Mood: Anxious
  • Listening to: Tatu - God Is A Girl
So yes, it has been quiet some time since I updated my journal.
Well, I'm doing my second semester of Tafe doing Digital Media, and this semester looks way hard and I don't want to do it lol.

Other then that I try to spend a lot of my time away from home, be it at my bf house or friends.

I still get really down a lot, which sucks :( things haven't changed at home same old crap. I would like to move out but I don't work enough to do that.

Everyone seems to be worrying about me, which isn't good. It seems to make me even more worried/anxious.

Wish I wasn't like this..

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FMLYHM =D

Journal Entry: Sat Apr 26, 2008, 5:05 AM
  • Mood: Distressed
  • Listening to: Rise Against - Prayer Of The Refugee

Okay so I feel like shit, thinking about few things, not sure what I'm gonna do...
Need to talk to this person, I can't keep fucking around with my own mind as well as my feelings.
I'm more or less lost. So very lost and confused and I don't know what to do.

Lol I see no future and I have no freaking plans for anything. This is a bad thing?

I can't see even past next week.. I don't know how other people can like see and plan out their future and what not.

I don't get it. Then again I never could and never can. Maybe its my depression. But really I don't care.

How... how pathetic of me?
Oh and I really feel like getting back into my old habits, being even more self destructive I miss it. muahahhahaaha owww how sad/pathetic. But it would go so well with my insane laughing right about now. Yeah god I miss the feeling..

I want what I can't have and I have what I don't want, isn't that great.

Sorry I'm just ranting odds are nobody will even read all of this, or say anything in relation to this journal. I need somewhere to write again ><

Prayer Of The Refugee
Don’t hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don’t need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

Don’t hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don’t need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

Down!



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